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Monday, November 7, 2011

The Mutant Horse Thingy

How did this not get published back when I wrote it? Oh well, here it is.

Last, last weekend, Mikey and I were walking back from the ponds, and came across some GIANT hoof prints. (Mikey is always the one who notices the footprints. Is this a harkening back to his Boy Sprout days?)

As there is a fence between our neighbor's property and our own, we knew it could not be one of their horses. We were perplexed. I postulated that it was from a giant mutant horse thingy, but from whence did it come? There is really no other access to our weird little piece of land. Well, not that a giant mutant horse thingy could get through.

OK, so you really can't tell how big this is, but it was BIG!

 I decided to call it/him/her MEGAHOOF. (The name reminds me of that awful cartoon show Austin used to watch on the Internet. What was that called? With the heavy metal band characters?) (Evidently, it is Parentheses Day here.)

All you horse people out there - look at the depth of the frog!

Now you REALLY have something to compare it to! That's Mikey's mitt!

We walked a little further (farther? Any English majors out there?) And that is when we came across The Pile of MegaPoop. Holy crap. (Pardon the pun.) This is the biggest pile of poo I've seen out side of the elephant corral at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo.

Unfamiliar with equine excrement? Then you'll just have to trust me that this is one, big pile o' fertilizer.

So it turns out that the fence is down and we had visitors. (I love horsey visitors!) His name is Dakota and he is a black Percheron. He travels exclusively with a donkey named Kong. (Get it?) And they love our property. One of them dragged one of the straw bales we used to insulate the water line off the top of the cistern, and mushed it around for potential yummies.

Kong is on the left - that's his little spotted hiney. Dakota is the big guy on the right. Pardon the terrible photo - the dogs barking spooked them off to a blurry distance.

Later that weekend, we saw the whole herd - about 8 (?) - hauling ass across their land toward the barn. It was SO COOL!!!

This Is One of the Things I Love About Colorado

So we're driving east on some smallish 2 lane highway, looking at cheap houses in the boonies. (This was before we found Dwight.  [DoubleWideTurd. Say it fast.] )

Suddenly, the cars are backed up and moving at a crawl. Then we all stop altogether.  "What the hell?" , we say.  "Nobody drives this road!"  Well, almost nobody.

A highway cattle drive? What?!?

Hold on there, cows. You need to be going west.

Even cowboys wear Nike.

I've lived here a goodly portion of my life, and this was the first time I'd seen this. 


Mouse Poop and Other Ick I Didn't Want to Write About

I hate it when people write on their blogs, "Oh, I can't believe it's been 16 years since I gave you all an update!"  Yes, you can. You know darn well you've been putting it off forever. Or in my case, since August 23rd. So why the gap? Well...

Fancy no Hanta Virus mouse evicting gear. Where in the hell did all those wrinkes come from? Wear your sunscreen, Chillins.

Evidently, there have been some mice living and doing what mice do, in the house. Under the washer and dryer. In the stove. You heard me correctly. IN the stove. Comfy in their bed of shredded pink insulation, with a 3 year supply of dog food from the previous owners.

A nice cache of dog food for the coming months.


I had to get over my heebie begeebies at the mess. Plus, the cord that allows us to download photos from our phones had to be located, which took until 2 days ago. And I wondered about the wisdom of showing the photos to people we like.

Mouse urine and poop with poison in it under the kitchen cabinets.

 But now that those things have settled out to a distant-ish memory, I'll fill you in on what you've missed in the meantime.

After kitchen cabinet removal. Dear God. I had forgotten.

We knew there was something icky under the stove because Hoopa had an unusual interest in it. If you squatted down and looked closely, you could see little pooplets by the edge of the stove. Having already gotten out the masks and spray bottle of alcohol several times on previous weekends, we knew something foul was afoot. But we didn't know how foul. Or that the PO (Previous Owners) had thrown down some poison and stuffed some tinfoil in the gaps of where the water pipes come up into the house as a "solution".

If only I had had the presence of mind to take a photo of the very pregnant mouse that we created a raceway for to help her onto the next stage of her life - somewhere other than our stove. She listened very attentively while I explained that we didn't want to hurt her, but she was going to have to find somewhere else to live. She moseyed out the door, guided by box lids and folded rugs, and disappeared between the slats of wood of the deck. She was very cute.

A variety of common household materials created an impromptu raceway.

Mikey is very good at envisioning stuff.

The rubber boots were needed to keep the folder rug from falling over.

Even a rodent could figure out which way to go.

Anyhoo, we have now concluded that all cabinets or fixtures with plumbing pipes must be removed, the holes closed up, surfaces disinfected, and new fixtures and cabinets installed. Funzies. We send the stove to Scrap Heaven. I don't think it could have been adequately sanitized.

The thing I can't wrap my head around is how the PO lived with this. And why they didn't address it more thoroughly. Yikes.